Opening night is over, curtain is down, and you have made it through. You think the hard part is over, right? You silly, silly girl. Sure, you've got that cute new baby (sorta like a great review in the NYT) and some serious hormones pumping through your veins. But sit down, remember it's not your fault, and that we love you.
This is an intervention. You're addicted to placenta and the happy hormones she's been slipping you.
At first, it won't seem like such a big deal, but we're going to take you off that placenta cold turkey. In a few hours, you'll be a little shaky but you expected that as a symptom of withdrawl, right? Turns out that the old girl has been keeping you pretty happy, what with the progesterone and all. She's been trying to keep you as contented as possible, and here you thought you were just handling the end of the pregnancy calmly by yourself. You might also feel a little faint here or there.... since you didn't realize good ol' placenta has been helping to regulate your blood sugar and appetite too. Most people get by blaming this on being tired from 'just having a baby'.
You might be thinking 'Whatever, that stupid thing was 3 or so pounds I needed to drop anyway', and believe me I sympathize. But when you start feeling a little touched in the head, when you start thinking that doing something completely ridiculous is the best. idea. ever., and when you're pretty much convinced everyone else is frickin' crazy, I've got news for you. All those other people are fine. YOU are crazy. But not in a bad way, it's just your body chemistry betraying you as it tries to get back to normal. Why you ever thought you'd be able to just bounce back to the old you in 72 hours is beyond me.
And that's what we're here for: to talk you through. Withdrawl is not easy, whatever your drug of choice. Just because progesterone is natural, doesn't mean it's not powerful. I mean, nicotine is natural too -- see my point? Instead of a 12 step program, it might be easier to think of this as a recallibration. After all, you were a capable human being before, and you can be that woman again. First though, it can be good to realize that what you've just done is a pretty big deal. Sure, anyone can run a marathon.... you just took a couple of cells and used them to grow a human. And, birth it. No wonder you're tired, and no wonder you need that happy hormone more than ever. Bummer about the timing.
So if you find yourself feeling a bit off kilter, remember that the first step is admitting you have a problem. Then find someone to talk about it with, and I mean someone with clear communication skills. Your baby does not count. If that doesn't work, talk to your doctor, because even marathon runners get a massage or new sneakers after a race, and all they do is run 26 miles. Give yourself a break, realize its normal, and get some help. All you need is someone to get you back on the map of life, pointed in the right direction, so you can enjoy the ride.
