I've been thinking a lot about this whole past year lately... and several things stand out to me. How much crazy advice you get. How many 'just one thing' well-meaning lectures you are subjected to. How many 'holy crap what if that happens to me' thoughts. So.. here's the part of Fives to kinda boil it down to the good (or bad) stuff.
The 5 best pieces of advice I got about being pregnant:
1)Drink plenty of water. Preferably, enough so you have a faint sense of having a full bladder at all times (still better than the cankles and the leg cramps, though!).
2)Only weigh yourself once a week.
3)When you think it might be time to take your rings off, it IS. Don't wait.
4)Be active, but not too active. (As in, don't feel guilty about taking a nap, but don't use the 'I'm pregnant' excuse to get out of doing normal stuff; unless you have complications, of course.)
5)Get massages. Lots of them. This may be one of the only times in your life when people will not give you a hard time about regularly scheduled massages. And they are heaven.
The 5 worst: (mostly from Italians, mind you):
1)Stop walking the dog everyday.
2)Excessive amounts of landlord-made wine are not bad for you.
3)Don't eat anything. But, not too little.
4)Wear tights when its cold (55 degrees).
5)Only wear sweatpants (OK, this was from an American, as if you couldn't guess).
The 5 best pieces of advice about having a baby, as in the 'nitty gritty' part:
1)Seriously asses your comfort with pain. If you are not friends, consider help.
2)Bring your own pillow.
3)Bring extra socks. (don't ask. Just do it.)
4)Bring a book, or a magazine, or something to read. This might take a while, and you can't count on the hospital to have either reading material or decent cable.
5)Check to see if the ward has Wi-Fi.
The 5 worst:
1)Bring a birth plan. (Because attempting to script an entirely unscriptable event is really only setting yourself up for disappointment at best, and agony at worst. Why do this to yourself?)
2)Bring your own pillow. (yes, this was above too, but honestly you'll have so much to pack when you leave.... I appreciated having it but not having to pack it.)
3)Bring your mother. (Seriously? I mean, yes this was from an Italian but I know lots of Americans who do it too. Mom, love ya but that's what a waiting room is for.)
4)Make sure you have a lot of ice chips. (Popsicles are SO much better)
5)Bring your own music.
The 5 best pieces of advice about actually having a baby. (At home, to take care of. Yourself.)
1) 'People will tell you that you'll get your groove back by three months. Those people are assholes; it takes four months.' I'm so glad someone told me this since I really didn't have my game back until about four months.
2) 'Those little buggers are like a cruel joke at the beginning. Like your own personal combination lock with a combo nobody knows yet.' This really helped me feel like other people floundered at the beginning too.
3)Spend time just watching them when they're sleeping. (This is fantastic advice, if you can stay awake.)
4)Don't let it get you down if breastfeeding doesn't work for you. Give it your best shot but then make peace with what is instead of worrying about what could have been.
5)Take pictures with size references in them, so you can remember how small they really were once.
The 5 worst:
1) 'Sleep when the baby sleeps'. OK, you people who have trained yourselves to fall asleep anywhere, anytime (or those lucky enough to just have the skill). Good for you. For the rest of us, it sort of morphs into tortured mental battles of trying to force yourself to sleep, which are ultimately more stressful than just doing some laundry with your spare 35 minutes.
2) 'You'll be a natural'. I know this is well meaning, but really? That's the one that will play over and over again in your head while you struggle to do any number of things.
3)(From Italians) 'Put more clothes on that baby'. Because baby ain't happy if he's not dressed for the arctic.
4)'Don't worry about the laundry'. Huh, because I don't remember any magic laundry fairies showing up. Somebody still has to do it. Hopefully, that person will not be you but if you don't pay attention you could walk in on a giant laundry monster.
5)'Don't spoil the baby'. For the first few months, if you want to hold them all the time, then do it. Granted, mine is only 6 months old, but I held him a lot when he was tiny and he seems to be doing just fine right now.
The 5 most useful things we bought/were sent:
1)Vibrating chair. I cannot stress this enough.
2)Ergo carrier.
3)Moses basket
4)Diaper caddy/organizer. (Don't laugh! Super useful.)
5)'Your Baby is Speaking to You' book.
5 least useful:
1)baby socks
2)stuffed animals
3)baby T-shirts. If it doesn't snap at the crotch, it will just ride up. So. Very. Annoying.
4)Lullaby CD for the car. Probably won't put the baby to sleep, but it will work on you in about 3.4 seconds.
5)Anti-Vaccine propaganda.
I'm sure there are many more 'Part of Fives' still to come in our lives. These will have to do for now, but stay tuned!
