Doogie's little brother.....

I've been very satisfied with the entire OB department at the hospital for the most part, but I do have to stifle some out loud guffaws whenever the lone male is the lucky 'guy' to call me back for my appointment.  Seriously, who did this poor kid piss off to be stationed in the lady parts department?  I feel for him, I do.  Let me give you a mental picture: tall, blonde, kinda goofy in a sweet, midwestern kind of way, looks about 14 (maybe).  He's always smiling an awkward little smile, and I would be too if I were him.

So, at my 12 week appointment I was lucky enough to draw the goofy straw.  As I was walking back to the exam room it did cross my mind that I can clearly remember events the year he must have been born a mere dozen years prior.  I chuckled to myself.  Then we began the questioning..
"So, how are you feeling"     Um, fine, this is a regularly scheduled appointment after all.  He continues to ask me silly questions while taking my blood pressure (I thought you weren't supposed to talk while your BP was being measured?).

"How many times have you felt the baby kick?"  WHAT?  This is a 12 week appointment.  Who can do that?  I certainly hope I'm incubating something special in there, but it would be the strongest jumbo shrimp in the world if I could feel it kicking around at 12 weeks.  So I asked, 'excuse me?'. 

"How many times have you felt the baby kick?"  What I was thinking was 'Look, kid, I know that you haven't made it far enough in JR High to have health class yet, but come on.' But, I'm trying to be nice here, so I keep that to myself.  What I said was "No, it is way too early for that....." and this rather benign response seemed enough to make him a little sad.  I almost felt like I should buy him a copy of 'What to Expect' just so he'd understand why this wasn't such a good question, at least for several more weeks.

So we continued to chat with each other while he was taking my vitals.  At one point, I thought to myself  'When you get home tonight, you should ask your big brother Doogie for some helpful information on topics such as this...' and actually chuckled to myself.  He said "something funny, ma'am?".  No, nothing at all.  Thanks for asking!

More questions later, and I'd decided his time was up.  In between a couple of questions, I did say to the poor lad "I'm sorry.  If you're looking for bubbly cheerful pregnant lady you've got the wrong room.  You walked into practical and pessimistic today."  Though this was the least sarcastic thing I'd thought the entire appointment, the look of slight disappointment on his face seemed to indicate it was a good thing I'd kept the previous comments to myself.

I bet if he is old enough to have a girlfriend, she's really into scrapbooking....